Champion Mom - What Are Parenting Boundaries?

By: bchauveau Sunday April 4, 2021 comments

Parenting is unlike any relationship with another human being you’ve ever had. While it’s essential to set healthy boundaries regardless of the relationship, it’s even more important when raising small humans. 

What does setting boundaries mean? It’s not meant to separate your connection to someone else. What it does mean is to be intentional about what your role is as a parent, what is and isn’t okay in your home and in your family, and setting rules that ensure that both you and your child have the best chance at a happy and healthy life.

Here are some ways to set healthy boundaries as parents:

Define the Line

The first thing to focus on when setting boundaries is making decisions regarding where your responsibilities begin and end. This is also the rule setting portion of parenting. What will be allowed in your home? In public? At school? What are your family’s values? Where do you feel like it’s okay to jump in and help and when will you sit back and let your child learn? 

The answers to these questions will give you the boundary roadmap you’ll use as a parent.

Communicate Your Expectations

The more you communicate your expectations before they become a problem, the easier it will be to circumvent potential issues. Tie these expectations into your family’s values and have conversations about both your values and expectations in a proactive way and not only reactively when something goes wrong.

Appropriate Choices

There are plenty of reasons to encourage your child to make more decisions. Decision-making builds a child’s confidence and critical thinking skills and is the key to their future ability to be completely independent. However, a child’s brain is not fully developed and they are not able to make sound decisions based on experience and with a understanding of the potential consequences of their behavior. They need their parents to encourage them to make choices when appropriate but to also set a boundary when a choice appears that is beyond their age or scope of knowledge. Give them free reign over the small choices but keep a handle on the big ones until they are older. 

Every family will have different boundaries and expectations so there is no ‘right way’ to do this work. Setting parenting boundaries is a skill you develop over time. Defining your boundaries and sticking to your principles is much better than reacting to your feelings in the moment.

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About the Author: bchauveau